Caffeine and Chaos
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About Me
Every now and then, you just have to shut out the noise and quiet down long enough to wade through the myriad of thoughts, ideas, and concepts in your head. Sometimes you just have to get things off of your chest. Sometimes you just need a break.
That's what this blog is for - I hope you enjoy it!
Blogs I follow:
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A lunch break lesson in philosophy…
“Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. You name them – work, family, health, friends and spirit and you’re keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls – family, health, friends and spirit are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for balance in your life.
How?
- Don’t undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others. It is because we are different that each of us is special.
- Don’t set your goals by what other people deem important. Only you know what is best for you.
- Don’t take for granted the things closest to your heart. Cling to them as you would your life, for without them, life is meaningless.
- Don’t let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or for the future. By living your life one day at a time, you live ALL the days of your life.
- Don’t give up when you still have something to give. Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.
- Don’t be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect. It is this fragile thread that binds us each together.
- Don’t be afraid to encounter risks. It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.
- Don’t shut love out of your life by saying it’s impossible to find. The quickest way to receive love is to give; the fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly; and the best way to keep love is to give it wings.
- Don’t run through life so fast that you forget not only where you’ve been, but also where you are going.
- Don’t forget that a person’s greatest emotional need is to feel appreciated.
- Don’t be afraid to learn. Knowledge is weightless, a treasure you can always carry easily.
- Don’t use time or words carelessly. Neither can be retrieved. Life is not a race, but a journey to be savored each step of the way.”
By Coca Cola CEO Brian Dyson
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A Mother’s Prayer
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If You Give a Mom a Muffin
“If you give a mom a muffin, she’ll want a cup of coffee to go with it. She’ll pour herself some. Her three-year-old will spill it. She’ll wipe it up. Wiping the floor, she will find dirty socks. She’ll remember she has to do laundry. When she puts the laundry in the washer, she’ll trip over boots and bump into the freezer. Bumping into the freezer will remind her that she has to plan supper. She will get out a pound of hamburger. She’ll look for her cookbook. (101 Things To Make With A Pound Of Hamburger.) The cookbook is sitting under a pile of mail. She will see the phone bill, which is due tomorrow. She will look for her checkbook. The checkbook is in her purse that is being dumped out by her two-year-old. She’ll smell something funny. She’ll change the two-year-old. While she is changing the two-year-old the phone will ring. Her five-year-old will answer and hang up. She’ll remember that she wants to phone a friend to come for coffee. Thinking of coffee will remind her that she was going to have a cup. She will pour herself some. And chances are, if she has a cup of coffee, her kids will have eaten the muffin that went with it.” by Kathy Fictorie
Thanks for sharing, Shanta :)
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A Sailor’s Christmas
Twas the night before Christmas, the ship was out steaming,
Sailors stood watch while others were dreaming.
They lived in a crowd with racks tight and small,
In a 80-man berthing, cramped one and all.
I had come down the stack with presents to give,
And to see inside just who might perhaps live.
I looked all about, a strange sight did I see,
No tinsel, no presents, not even a tree.
No stockings were hung, shined boots close at hand,
On the bulkhead hung pictures of a far distant land.
They had medals and badges and awards of all kinds,
And a sobering thought came into my mind.
This place was so different, so dark and so dreary,
I’d found the lair of a Sailor, once I saw clearly.
A Sailor lay sleeping, silent and alone,
Curled up in a rack and dreaming of home.
The face was so gentle, the room squared away,
This was the United States Sailor today.
This was the hero I saw on TV,
Defending our country so we could be free.
I realized the families that I’d visit this night,
Owed their lives to these Sailors lay willing to fight.
Soon round the world, the children would play,
And grownups would celebrate on Christmas Day.
They all enjoyed freedom each day of the year,
Because of the Sailors like the one lying here.
I wondered just how many lay all alone,
On a cold Christmas Eve on a sea, far from home.
The very thought brought a large tear to my eye,
I dropped to my knees and I started to cry.
The Sailor awakened and I heard a calm voice,
“Santa, don’t cry, this life is my choice.”
“Defending the seas all the days of the year,
So others may live and be free with no fear.”
I thought for a moment - what a difficult road,
to live a life guided by honor and code.
After all it’s Christmas Eve and the ship’s underway!
But freedom isn’t free and it’s sailors who pay.
He says to our country “be free and sleep tight,
No harm will come, not on my watch and not on this night.
The Sailor rolled over and drifted to sleep,
I couldn’t control it, I continued to weep.
I kept watch for hours, so silent, so still,
I watched as the Sailor shivered from the night’s cold chill.
I didn’t want to leave on that cold dark night,
This guardian of honor so willing to fight.
The Sailor rolled over and with a voice strong and sure,
Commanded, “Carry on Santa, It’s Christmas, and All is Secure!” -
Grab his hand…
I know all you military wives get it. It’s the end of the last night. You’re cuddling together, watching some stupid show on TV. The kids are asleep and lightning is lighting up the night sky. But you know in your heart, no matter how tired you may be, you can’t give in and go to bed, because tomorrow morning will bring pain. It’s pain unlike any you have felt since the LAST big goodbye…but you know that it’s coming. So you cuddle tighter and you keep watching the stupid reality show, all the while thanking God for the mere stupidity of it all.
So we sit here and watch some crazy people bungee jumping from somewhere in some shopping mall in Taiwan. I mean, you always DID know that American malls in any state but Minnesota were nothing short of lame. You watch the show, you watch the mall bungees, you cuddle…but all this time, all you REALLY want to do is just grab your hubby and go outside to dance in the rain.
Here’s to dancing in the rain. Here’s to the last goodbye. The REAL last goodbye. The one and only FINAL goodbye. One day you’ll get there, as will we. We’re not there yet, even if we think we are. Only God truly knows what the future brings - and I assure you - dancing in the rain has never felt so sweet.
So go. Grab his hand and pull him out to dance in the rain. It doesn’t even matter if you have no music. It’s a memory that will remain forever sweet in your hearts. You’ve never loved each other so much.
Here’s to it.
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Endurance…
My little nuclear family is really quite spectacular. No matter the trials and tribulations that we endure together, they never fail to amaze and surprise me. The kiddos have known now for quite some time that Daddy would be moving to VA for a while. What they didn’t realize, as time carried mercilessly on, was that it will be happening in 4 short days. We decided that tonight at the dinner table was the time to break it to them that our time as a typical family was coming swiftly to an end. But only for 365 days.
Don started the conversation. “So…you know Daddy’s going away for a while.” James broke my heart as his little face immediately fell and he asked an innocent, heartfelt “Daddy, why?” Paige is such an optimist. I don’t know where she gets it from. Her initial response was a genuine “I will miss you daddy.” Yet she quickly followed it up with “But we can Skype!” And that’s when Mama exhaled.
Lately, and frequently, when contemplating this subject, I have found myself front and center in my very own pity party. I mean really – how dare the good old United States Navy promise my family shore duty and then rip my husband away to live in Virginia for a year? I mean seriously. As if the last 11 years of our lives (19 years of his) did not include enough sacrifice and time away from each other and loved ones. We’ve missed more birthdays than I can count; we’ve missed anniversaries, even CHRISTMASES. For Pete’s sake. This is shore duty. It’s NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THIS WAY. His twilight tour…here we are, welcome to it. That whole “whoa is me” attitude is so unlike me. It’s unnatural for me. But I’ve been finding lately that I’m increasingly tired of this life. I’m tired of being at the mercy of the US government. I’m tired of seeing myself and my children play second fiddle to the needs of the navy. Yes of course the freedom of all Americans matters to me – yes of course the big picture that is SO MUCH BIGGER THAN ME, so much bigger than us, matters. It matters immensely - yet at the same time, my family is my LIFE – and how dare anyone mess with that? So I try. I try to remain optimistic and search for that seemingly elusive silver lining. Lately, I admit that I’ve failed. Miserably. Yet all it took was a simple 10 minute conversation at the dinner table to remind me of why it’s all been worth it. Why these lessons and this time apart…is worth it. Why it will all be ok, and why my young children are all the better for it. They continue to amaze me with their love, their resilience, and their inner beauty – shining brighter than any silver lining in the sky.
I see more of myself in James than in Paige. I do. He has my expressions. He’s contemplative, like his mom. He’s all about cuddling, like his mom. He’s my boy. My Boy. Paige though – she’s my little phenomenon. She never really was one for much cuddling. She doesn’t like to be held tightly. She can be overly dramatic. She’s Daddy’s girl. I wish I saw more of myself in her but I suppose if my general (until recently) optimistic attitude has rubbed off on her as she displayed this evening at dinner – well, then I’ve given her something valuable to help her survive this life. That’s what is most important to me. She will find the bright side, the silver lining, as I always inevitably do. It means so much to me to know that my sweet Paige is there for me with a silver lining, even on those days when I’m not exactly there for myself.
But hey – isn’t that what family is about? Support? Resilience? Love? Optimism? Endurance.
Almost makes me feel as if I might just be doing something right after all.
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What a difference a year makes…
What a year…
June 15th will always mean a lot to me. June 15th, 2010 was the day I went under the knife, undergoing roux-en-y gastric bypass surgery. It was one year ago today. I went into it desperate. I had tried everything - habits/exercise routines that had proven successful in the past were now failing me miserably. I was stressed out. I was unhealthy. I was 290 pounds, at 33 years old. I was failing my own life.
What a year it has been.
I’ve been through a lot in the past 12 months. Surgery, recovery, a deployment, and a 3,000 mile cross country move - and those are just the majors.
It’s so funny, when I hear of people saying weight loss surgery is “the easy way out”. It’s not easy. It requires dedication, and major long term (as in, lifetime) lifestyle and eating changes. A plethora of vitamin supplements for the rest of my life. Carbonated beverages are out. Gum is a no-no. If I should happen to eat something a little too greasy, or with too much sugar, I become physically ill. There is no room for indulgence. But all these changes, all of these ramifications of weight loss surgery - are absolutely worth it.
What a year. One year, and 141 pounds.
Thanks to the help of gastric bypass, I am a better wife. I am a better mother. I am a better daughter, and overall - simply a better Becca. I am happy, I am healthy…I am no longer failing my own life.
And what a life it is!
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Change is inevitable…
I’ve been thinking a lot about change lately, as we get settled in our new home here in South Carolina. It’s been just about 2 months, and already a lot has changed. Change is not always easy, and at times it can be scary. This military life is so full of change. We change our address, change our phone number, change our schedule. We change our minds, change our plans and we change our clothes as we move from one climate to another.
We often see it coming, and often, we don’t. Life is good at little surprises, and one thing I constantly find is that how I deal with changes, how I process and react to changes - both expected and unexpected - is up to me. I can dread it, fear it, and resist it…or I can expect it, embrace it, and grow from it.
Given the fact that change is inevitable, I choose growth. I choose a silver lining. There is always one to be found, it’s just a question of how hard I’m willing to search for it. The silver lining is always there - and that, my friends, is one thing that will never change.
Peace.
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Wow. My baby graduated Kindergarten today…and it was the strangest thing. I just can’t help but wonder how this happened. I mean, wasn’t it just yesterday I took her to preschool for the first time? I blinked, and she’s suddenly this amazing young lady. She’s six. SIX! HOW does that HAPPEN? It’s bittersweet, but I’m proud of my sweet pea. I’m proud of her accomplishments, her abilities, her resilience. I’m proud of her generous heart and her love of life. She is truly amazing. She has her moments, her entire days even - but we all do. No other child on the planet can drive me to quite the frustration she can. Yet there’s nothing I would change - not in a heartbeat. I am thankful for every day, every moment that I have with my Sweet Pea - and I know that all too soon, these fleeting days will be no more than a memory. A beautiful, marvelous, incredible string of fascinating, radiant memories. <3
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[Flash 10 is required to watch video]
Apes! Loud apes at the zoo ROFL…
